Friday, April 29, 2016

2016 Name of the Year: Final Four

Taco supremacy reigned in the Dragonwagon final, where Mr. Pope handily defeated Howdy Goudy, which, I don't know, is hard to feel good about. It basically reinforces the idea that dynasties dominate in all aspects of life. Wealth, power, politics… You'd like to think Name of the Year would be the exception.

The task of keeping Taco Pope from the finals falls to Sweet Orefice, the Sarah Lawrence administrative assistant, who walked away with the strongest Elite Eight victory. Orefice crushed Jorja Pound Turnipseed with 66 percent of the vote in the Chrotchtangle Regional Final.

Another Pope, McCorkle III, also pulled out a win, by a mere 21 votes, over Dick Tips, in the Sithole final. He'll be facing Tillmann Buttersack in the Final Four. Buttersack defeated Onno Hoes to win the Bulltron regional.

For what it's worth, if this thing ends up being Pope vs. Pope, I wouldn't blame voters for staying at home.

Tillmann Buttersack vs. Pope McCorkle III

Taco Pope vs. Sweet Orefice