Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Presenting the 2015 Name of the Year Bracket: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Fantastic names are going mainstream. Writers for SB NationInside Lacrosse, and other publications have applied our concept—now 33 years old, in the prime of its life—to their specific beats. Key and Peele shared our love of D'Brickashaw Ferguson (a NOTY nominee in 2006) and Frostee Rucker (2013) with millions of YouTube viewers. Heck, even the NFL's official media outlet devoted some pixels to the wonders of Equanimeous St. Brown (2014). For those of us who peddle names, these are exciting times.

This is the perfect environment for a new Name of the Year bracket, and sure enough, we're back. Yes, as in previous years, we're arriving fashionably late to the party, but NOTY is built on tradition, and at this point, our deference toward the usual rigid schedule of novelty March Madness brackets is part of who we are. We may have failed to arrive in time for Georgetown's yearly spinout, but we're here, and we've come bearing gifts.

That's what this year's bracket feels like: a gift. Finding 64 fresh, exciting new names always seems an impossible task at first, but thanks in large part to your email submissions, we have again (back pat) managed to assemble a tremendous slate. A man with Miraculous Powers will battle a nemesis made of Silver Bronzo. Dr. Jocko Zifferblatt will inspect a Manmeet Colon. A Raven will rap on the chamber door of a man named Handsome Monica. Crump will do battle with Crump. And those are just the 8-9 matchups.

Indeed, NOTY is the gift that keeps on giving. As long as parents continue to bless their children with names like Electron, Mussolini, and Jazznique, our field will remain strong enough to keep up with the accelerating recognition of onomastic pursuits.

You are invited to join us as we embark on our annual paean to wonderful names. Voting will commence shortly, so pull on your Dr. Data Longjohns, don your Kapri Bibbs, and pick the Swindly Lint out of your bellybutton, because it's time to begin weighing the relative merits of Omar Hurricane and Kermit Carolina, of Forrestina Calf Boss-Ribs and Charity Sunshine Tilleman-Dick, and of the 30 other matching pairs who will constitute our first round.

We'll begin, as always, with the Bulltron Regional before moving onto the Sithole, the Dragonwagon, and the Chrotchtangle. How long will it take? However long it needs to take. 

So print out a bracket, spread the word (we’ll be Tweeting @NOTYtourney), and return here regularly to vote on the round-by-round matchups. Without further ado, here is your 2015 Name of the Year bracket:

Click here for a larger version.