Thursday, March 27, 2014

Dragonwagon/Chrotchtangle Regionals, Round 1

This year's tourney is proceeding at breakneck speed! Head over to Deadspin before 5:00 tomorrow (Thursday) to vote in the Dragonwagon and Chrotchtangle regionals. Round 2 goes up Friday!

Dragonwagon Regional:

#1 Karhonda Porcha, who was stopped for a seatbelt violation and found to be hiding drugs in her crotch, vs. #16 Handful Pour, a guard on the Hibbing Community College basketball team.

#8 Tumpsey Speeks, who like Bulltron's Radiance Ham appeared in a 2010 Houston Press name list, vs. #9 Equanimeous St. Brown, a trilingual h.s. wide receiver.

#5 Tertius Zongo, former Prime Minister of Burkina Faso, vs. #12 Mahogany Barbee of Chicago.

#4 Bubbles Chwat, former CCNY campus newspaper business manager, vs. #13 Polycarp Pengo, Archbishop of Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania.

#6 Poopa Dweck, cookbook author, vs. #11 Unique Mayo, a h.s. shooting guard.

#3 Precious Wingo-Waller, theatre troupe president at UC Santa Cruz, vs. #14 Maverick Couch, who made national headlines by winning a legal battle to wear a shirt reading "Jesus is not a homophobe" in school.

#7 Jigme Thinley, a former Prime Minister of Bhutan whose name forms a totally nonsensical yet formally complete English sentence, vs. #10 Jagger Slippery, a h.s. linebacker.

#2 Dr. Eve Gruntfest, Professor Emeritus of Geography and Environmental Sciences at the University of Colorado Colorado Springs, vs. #15 Ginger Pinholster from the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

Chrotchtangle Regional:

#1 Alkapone Cruz-Balles, Hawaiian car-jacker, vs. #16 Becky Lecky, London pool player.

#8. Jerqwinick Sandolph, LSU defensive back, vs. #9 Shitavious Cook, charged with murder.

#5 D'Olajuwon Swanks, h.s. guard and our play-in winner, vs. #12 Soviet Howie, North Carolina plaintiff.

#4 Fawaz Wazwaz, alleged mortgage fraud co-conspirator, vs. #13 Fuifui Moimoi,
Tongan rugby player.

#6 Dr. Xerxes Mazda, Deputy Director of Engagement at the Royal Ontario Museum, vs. #11 Kodiak Yazzie, real estate sales counselor.

#3 Norman Bevis Many Fingers, an Alberta man who shot two fighting dogs, vs. #14 Fuzzbee Morse, composer for films.

#7 Airwrecka McBride, "Prepster Parent," vs. #10 Chillie Poon, 1996 Miss Hong Kong runner-up.

#2 Squeegee Santillian, AskMen Canada contributor, vs. #15 Kermit Rainman, Christian brand consultant.

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