Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Sithole Regional, Round 1: #5 Norman Conquest vs. #12 CaliforniaAmazing Red, #4 Konockus Sashington vs. #13 Pearlie Graves


First up today we have Standard Grade Chemistry author Norman Conquest (his coauthor, Roddy Renfrew, has no slouch of a name either). We're guessing that Conquest gravitated toward the hard sciences after years of smarmy jokes from history teachers. Norman recalls 2011's Dr. Loveday Conquest, and we're pleased as ever to see a fresh take on an old surname.

Norman's up against California Amazing Red. You'd think that in a war of connotations, Norman Conquest would be a lock -- and indeed, his is certainly the strongest reference-based name in our bracket -- but "California Red" can be taken in at least four directions -- and that's without the "Amazing."

Will Norman conquer California?

[polldaddy poll=7439425]


Today's second matchup starts with Konockus Sashington, running back for the University of North Texas Mean Green. It's fitting that Sashington is a college football player: of all the names in our bracket, his sounds most plausible as a fictional East-West Bowl competitor, somewhere between Blyrone Blashinton (Syracuse) and Sequester Grundelplith, M.D. (Adams State.)

Fittingly, Mr. Sashington is up against another college football player, Texas Tech defensive tackle Pearlie Graves, who we're sure will get some consolation for his lower seed from the fact that he plays in the Big 12, not Conference USA. The good people of Grantland, who put together a 2011-2012 College Football All-Name Team (which features fellow 2013 NOTY contenders Dusty Rust, Montana Bencomo, and Necho Beard), call Pearlie Graves "the darkest name in college football, a weird gothic take on 'pearly gates.' You don't go to heaven, man, you just go in the ground."

Who will prevail, the offense or the defense?

[polldaddy poll=7439427]

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