Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Dragonwagon Regional, Round 1: #6 Gorby Loreus vs. #11 Myck Kabongo, #3 Sincere Shears vs. #14 Twinkle Cavanaugh
By our estimation, today's matchup of former Middle Tennessee linebacker Gorby Loreus against recent San Antonio Spurs signee Myck Kabongo just might be the toughest of our whole tournament. We've been arguing about it since we first drew up the bracket; I think I've switched sides more than once.
Our competitors have a lot of common, at least on the field of name. Both are athletes. Both need to be said aloud to maximize the joy they evoke. And both are perfect names -- there's nothing more you can ask of a name like Gorby Loreus or Myck Kabongo, no slight tweak that would improve them.
Originally a Canadian, Kabongo went undrafted in the 2013 NBA draft; he signed last month with San Antonio and will likely play with the Austin Toros, a Spurs-affiliated D-League team. We really hope his favorite N64 title was Banjo-Kazooie.
The most salient point about Loreus is that he entered college in 2008, meaning he would have been born around the time Mikhail Gorbachev was coming to power in the USSR. We can't help but speculate that Gorby's name may have been inspired by the chants during Gorbachev's June 1989 visit to West Germany.
Who wins the Loreus/Kabongo battle?
Today also sees the appearance of Sincere Shears, who should probably consider a hairdressing career. He'd be my go-to for frank barbershop conversation.
Shears is up against Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh. Twinkle is the president of the Alabama Public Service Commission, a regulatory agency that controls the rates of utilities including electricity.
Will Twinkle shine brightly enough to escape a Shears victory? Only YOU can decide!