Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sweet 16: A Word From the Commissioner

A lot of testy voters in the Sweet 16, and we understand. Even the High Commissioner is exercised. From the private island in the South Pacific where he's tutoring Barkevious Mingo for finals, the High C telexed us his thoughts. (No, we're not sure when he turned into Larry King.)

The Angerer-Jeffries bracket pisses me off; these names both suck. I'm so out of touch now. ... Can't believe the Beave is going to go to the final 8. ... The Gordon-Sidebottom match is classic NOTY. ... Stipes better get past Balls-O otherwise my ticket is dead. ... Can't believe that Banana is taking down Tronic Williams.

If you don't think Chrotchtangle No. 15 seed Pat Angerer deserves to advance over No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries, or that Dragonwagon No. 4 Steele Sidebottom, whatever his Aussie rules football talents, is an empirically better name that No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon, then get out the vote.

Angerer-Pencilman is a close enough that a late flurry of ballots could change the outcome. Spontaneous-Steele, in the words of Eddie's father in Diner, could go either way. And No. 3 Starzanne Stipes vs. No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista in the 'wagon. is officially a throw-down: As we type, the ladies are separated by just one vote.

We'll leave the polls open until Friday.