Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Our (Not Your) 2010 Name of the Year

We gave the People their own NOTY tournament. But that never meant that we, the 12-member NOTY High Committee, relinquished the right to select who we believe is the true Name of the Year.

After all, we've been doing it since 1983. We're connoisseurs. We know the difference between an onomastic 1787 Chateau Lafite and a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck.

This year, you, the People, for whatever reasons, have chosen to advance the amply but not remarkably named Banana Yaya and Steele Sidebottom to the finals of the 2010 NOTY Tournament. We, the High Committee, did our part to uphold the reputation of this endeavor.

So please give a NOTY round of applause to the 2010 Name of the Year (High Committee):

Nohjay Nimpson

In case you're just joining us, Nohjay is a women's track-and-field star at St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia. The Philly native specializes in the triple jump, and just a couple of weeks ago she took first place in the Swarthmore Last Chance meet with a leap of 37 feet 9 1/2 inches.

Today, she leaps into the NOTY history books by amassing four first-place votes and a total of 230 points. (Names received five points for advancing to the second round, then 10, 15, 20, 25 and 40 for the champion.) Milwaukee student Dinero Fudge finished second with 205 points, followed by Miami high-school footballer God's Power Offor (180), Delaware driver Spontaneous Gordon (145) and New York man Spartacus Bernstein (140).

And the People's choices? The "Man of Steele" tied for 14th with 80 points, while Banana Yaya tied for 21st place with 65.

Here's our top 25:

1. Nohjay Nimpson 230 points (4 first-place votes)
2. Dinero Fudge 205 (2)
3. God's Power Offor 180 (2)
4. Spontaneous Gordon 145 (1)
5. Spartacus Bernstein 140 (1)
6. Wave Ryder 135
7. Dr. Speedy Nutz 135 (2)
8. Pencilman Jeffries 130
9. Hannukkah Wallace 115
10. X'Zavier Bloodsaw 110
11. Starzanne Stipes 90
Aristotle Socrates
13. Napoleon Einstein 85
14. Steele Sidebottom 80
Typhoon Nurse
16. Flavius Killebrew 75
Jesus Leonardo
18. Furious Bradley 70
Pocahontas Outlaw
ShaMiracle Johnson

21. Rich Tanguy 65
Banana Yaya
Pamela Balls Organista
Just-in'love Smith

25. Charity Beaver 60
Selathious Bobo
Gregor Schwinghammer Jr.
Nubian Peak

30 comments:

  1. I can't believe Nohjay was eliminated... what a travesty!

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  2. While I do not condone the precedent that has been set with this executive committee action, I agree with the results.

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  3. What's the point of having people vote if you're (the high committee) is going to choose whoever they want to win. BS pure and simple.

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  4. Because this is about finding the best name of the year, and the people voted for dumb names, and it was clearly going to be Steele Sidebottom because he got his followers to vote for him.

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  5. Um, noobs, there's two Name of the Year results: the High Committee's choice and the People's choice.

    This is the former. The latter is coming.

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  6. Lol you morons. Don't have a NOTY vote if you aren't happy with the results. This is such a typically American thing to do; try to justify something that is totally unjustifiable.

    Suck it up princesses.

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  7. Nohjay Nimpson might be the most pathetic name used in the entire tournament this year.

    HEY IT KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE A FAMOUS PERSON WOW ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS

    Really, I can't believe it was remotely popular at all. Pretty awful choice and should have never got out of it's initial group of four.

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  8. Typical Americans....they haven't won anything since WWII and when they lose control of a stupid comp they cry and change the rules....weak as piss. Steele Sidebottom could not care less about having the "Name of the Year", he will forget all about it when he has a premiership medallion around his neck in September.

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  9. We should find some popular Australian contest and totally ruin it and then mock the Aussies that get understandably upset by it. Because that's the classy thing to do.

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  10. What a waste of my time. Voting for Steele Sidebottom is two minutes of my life that I will never get back now. If I had have know that a "high and mighty" committee were going to choose the name they liked I wouldn't have bothered. Dumb Yanks - Steele from Tallygaroopna is the "Reele - Deele". By the way, for those trailer park Yanks that can't spell, that was witty incorrect spelling!

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  11. Amazing how many people continue to bitch even after a commenter explained that the People's Choice and the Committee's Choice are different awards, and the Committee has done this every year.

    Idiots.

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  12. Good picks. I was behind Nohjay all the way.

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  13. There were always going to be two NOTY winners. Most Aussies can take a joke, but reading some of the comments here make me embarrassed to be a Collingwood supporter! My favourite, apart from Steele of course, is God's Power Offor. It cracks me up every time I say it to myself.

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  14. I agree with the high committee's votes. I'm disappointed that people voted for regional favorites just because some dude is a fucking rugby player... I just hope next year people can be more objective.

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  15. Thank you high committee for setting things straight. My own pool with friends looked much more like your results than that of the people's choice. Long live Nohjay Nimpson!

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  16. What's wrong with you people? I mean, those of you bashing Americans over this ridiculous thing?

    Seriously, all you "Anonymous" assholes are ruining a fun thing.

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  17. "America sucks" says the Aussie using a computer whose technology was designed in America, over the internet, a medium invented in America, while he drives an American-designed car, listens to American music, watches American television, and wakes up every morning not having to say the words "Heil Hitler."

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  18. The High Committee has been picking their own choice for three years now. The new bandwagon people who came here for certain athletes could do some reading on the site to figure this out. And yes, thank you High Committee for adding another great and deserving female college athlete to the ranks of your champions(you're still great Destiny!).

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  19. Thanks for correcting the tragedy that this year's NOTY has become.

    Look, I don't care that Sidebottom is Australian, just like I didn't care that Pat Angerer was from Iowa. It's that fact that people are voting for the person and not the name that upsets me. Can we have a do-over or something?

    And absolutely agreed, separate athlete bracket next year.

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  20. lol @ the bloke who thinks that America invented everything I own. For your information, my computer is not American, the internet is not American, the couch im sitting on and the TV im watching arent american, the footy im watching isnt american.

    But you are american, and you are a moron.

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  21. "lol @ the bloke who thinks that America invented everything I own. For your information, my computer is not American, the internet is not American"

    Erm, actually...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARPANET

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  22. "America Should Pull It's Head In" says the Aussie who's car is Australian mdesined & made, who's favourite music and TV shows are Australian and as to waking up and saying "Heil Hitler" every morning, maybe you should look up the words Tobruk & Milne Bay and maybe say a small thank-you to the next digger you meet (so where were ya in 1939!!!)

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  23. Evan- you suck at inference. A lot.

    (For future reference, when someone makes a point like Anonymous did, he's probably not literally saying you're doing all those things).

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  24. "For future reference, when someone makes a point like Anonymous did, he's probably not literally saying you're doing all those things"

    First, I don't think I was the one that Anonymous was talking to.

    Second, I was merely pointing out that in his hyperbole, he actually touched on something that "America" (literally; not just an American, but with DoD support, so literally sponsored by American funding) did play a part in inventing.

    But feel free to tell me everything else I suck at. It so nice of you to educate me.

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  25. I would like to thank you, the high committee, for ensuring that at least some justice be done to these wonderful names. You may face the wrath of the Australian army (all six of them), but I could not sleep knowing that Steele Sidebottom had gotten away with all the glory.

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  26. Like a whinge much??
    If you're so upset with how the people have voted get rid of the public vote.

    Whilst you at it, delete this site off the web, then the 12 of you can have a lovely time patting each other on the back on how wonderful you all are with your name choosing skills.

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  27. Thanks, High Committee. Loved your picks; very similar to the bracket filled I filled out. =)

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  28. Took me a while to work out why you were so enamoured with Nohjay Nimpson. It's clever, but it has little relevance to the rest of the world outside the US. Seriously, wasn't the whole OJ murder thing over a decade ago?

    As for young Steele - he plays for a football club that is hated Australia wide. After hearing about POTY and Steele vs Charity Beaver (what was her mother thinking?), I was pretty sure that he'd get eliminated.

    Sidebottom has always elicited a chuckle for many AFL fans. In 09 he got drafted with another youngster, Brad Dick - and that made for some great radio commentary: "Dick to Sidebottom is dangerous."

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  29. I agree with the High Committee taking a stand, even as an Aussie it's obvious that Sidebottom doesn't deserve the win. Having said that, you then go and elect Nohjay Nimpson? Bloody hell - God's Power Offor all the way. Worst American decision since Creed's corner failed to throw in the towel in Rocky IV. But at least this debacle is showing the whole world why Collingwood fans are regarded as complete morons.

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