Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Our (Not Your) 2010 Name of the Year

We gave the People their own NOTY tournament. But that never meant that we, the 12-member NOTY High Committee, relinquished the right to select who we believe is the true Name of the Year.

After all, we've been doing it since 1983. We're connoisseurs. We know the difference between an onomastic 1787 Chateau Lafite and a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck.

This year, you, the People, for whatever reasons, have chosen to advance the amply but not remarkably named Banana Yaya and Steele Sidebottom to the finals of the 2010 NOTY Tournament. We, the High Committee, did our part to uphold the reputation of this endeavor.

So please give a NOTY round of applause to the 2010 Name of the Year (High Committee):

Nohjay Nimpson

In case you're just joining us, Nohjay is a women's track-and-field star at St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia. The Philly native specializes in the triple jump, and just a couple of weeks ago she took first place in the Swarthmore Last Chance meet with a leap of 37 feet 9 1/2 inches.

Today, she leaps into the NOTY history books by amassing four first-place votes and a total of 230 points. (Names received five points for advancing to the second round, then 10, 15, 20, 25 and 40 for the champion.) Milwaukee student Dinero Fudge finished second with 205 points, followed by Miami high-school footballer God's Power Offor (180), Delaware driver Spontaneous Gordon (145) and New York man Spartacus Bernstein (140).

And the People's choices? The "Man of Steele" tied for 14th with 80 points, while Banana Yaya tied for 21st place with 65.

Here's our top 25:

1. Nohjay Nimpson 230 points (4 first-place votes)
2. Dinero Fudge 205 (2)
3. God's Power Offor 180 (2)
4. Spontaneous Gordon 145 (1)
5. Spartacus Bernstein 140 (1)
6. Wave Ryder 135
7. Dr. Speedy Nutz 135 (2)
8. Pencilman Jeffries 130
9. Hannukkah Wallace 115
10. X'Zavier Bloodsaw 110
11. Starzanne Stipes 90
Aristotle Socrates
13. Napoleon Einstein 85
14. Steele Sidebottom 80
Typhoon Nurse
16. Flavius Killebrew 75
Jesus Leonardo
18. Furious Bradley 70
Pocahontas Outlaw
ShaMiracle Johnson

21. Rich Tanguy 65
Banana Yaya
Pamela Balls Organista
Just-in'love Smith

25. Charity Beaver 60
Selathious Bobo
Gregor Schwinghammer Jr.
Nubian Peak