Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sweet 16: Dragonwagon Regional

That's young Steele Sidebottom, Dragonwagon Regional No. 4 seed, Aussie rules footballer extraordinaire.

Steele was drafted by the Collingwood Magpies, who play in Melbourne. He used to be on the Murray Bushrangers, who play in Wangaratta -- Wang for short. In either locale, Steele is "used to copping a few comments about his name. And Sidebottom says that hasn’t been any different at Magpieland."

Magpieland! We love us some Aussie sports journalese.

“I’ve got a few nicknames like BlueScope and stuff,” Sidebottom said.

We looked it up. BlueScope is an Australian steel company. We love us some Aussie humor.

“They’re coming strong already … every time you sort of leave a room, they’re always [yelling] ‘Steele!’ and you turn around and they’re not looking.'

(Sidebottom sort of leaves the room.)


Steele has his Facebook posse (167 members). No. 1 seed Spontaneous Gordon has hers (66 fans). Unlike the earlier regional semis, this should be a close one. As should the region's other tilt, No. 3 Starzanne Stipes v. No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista

Both match-ups below. Vote.

No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon: Wilmington, Del., woman who drove into a bus.
No. 4 Steele Sidebottom: Medium defender with neat disposal by foot.

No. 3 Starzanne Stipes: Plays soccer in Zanesville, Ohio.

No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista: University of San Francisco psych prof.


  1. It's 50/50 for Stipes vs. Organista!

    This is a referendum on the funny given name vs. the plain given name-absurd surname. To me, Pamela wins due to the latter being funnier to me (silly given names get discounted because they were intentionally funny. I prefer ironic or absurd funny)

    In addition, the name "Pamela Balls Organista," juvenile humor aside, has a wonderful melody to it.

    I'm contradicting myself by also voting for Spontaneous, but that one sounds like a superhero, and possibly wasn't intentionally funny.

  2. Steele Sidebottom is a fucking stupid name. Spontaneous Gordon needs to win this in order to keep at least one good name in the contest. Also, how the HELL is Pamela Balls Organista only winning by less than 10%. That contest is a blowout, Balls Organista and Spontaneous Gordon are definitely the two best left in the contest (besides Nohjay Nimpson, if she's still in it...)

  3. I'm prediction a Pamela Balls/God's Power final matchup.

  4. I just love the juxtaposition of a "normal" first name with a horrible middle name/first surname and ridiculous surname. If she was G. Ant Balls Organista it wouldn't be as awesome.

  5. Once again I can't believe how narrow PBO's margin is. There's no way she can go down in defeat to a bad pun.

  6. Steele Sidebottom has to win this. I will name my first child after him if he does*.

    *this may not happen.

  7. Go Steele! With the might of the Magpie Army behind him, no one stands a chance

  8. C'mon Pies!...big last quarter. Go Steele!

  9. Gah! It's so close!!

    I went for Balls Organista and Sidebottom - and then worried this said something about my low-brow sense of humour...

  10. Sidebottoms the whole world across are uniting in this holiest of missions.


  11. Starzanne Stipes is getting hosed.

  12. Just some extra info.. I am a high school special education teacher in Zanesville, Ohio! Originally from Coshocton, Ohio where I played soccer and softball for River View High School. I played soccer in college at Walsh University for 4 years. I still play both soccer and softball but in adult leagues just for fun! :)

    Thanks for all the vote!!

  13. OH come on!! Pamela Balls?! Thats not even funny. At least Starrzanne's name is awesome. AND patriotic! Pamela balls....yeah right!!!!! Go Starrzy go!

  14. GO STEELE!!!!
    Make us Magpie fans proud!!!!!

  15. Starzanne is not having the best year ever. She's a great kid who deserves to win this!!/photo.php?pid=30649110&id=186100215

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