Wednesday, March 31, 2010

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 3

Here at NOTY we've been burned in the past by frauds and schemes that make Bernie Madoff look like Spiral Lightninghawk. Someday we'll rehash the Mummenschontz Bitterbeetle/Licentious Beastie scandal; the perpetrators remain at large. And, as you know, we've already had to toss two names off of this year's ballot.

So blame the Audit Committee for lax enforcement. Blame the Seeding Committee for laughing too hard. Blame us all for wanting, in these cynical times, to believe in something wholesome and good. Because this one really hurts.

Sithole Regional No. 3 seed Dick Smallberries Jr. is INVALIDATED.

In the pantheon of Dick names -- Nascar racer Dick Trickle, Congressman Dick Swett, baby Charley Willard Horse Dick, de facto 1999 NOTY Dick Surprise -- it looked real, or at least real enough. "Smallberries" had a Wikipedia entry. He had a long list of voice acting credits in video games and anime. So when his name dropped in our inbox a year ago, we added it to the master list. And when we Googled, we found nothing dissuade us from our innocent belief in the possible.

And then we stumbled on this troubling thread on -- "a leading website dedicated to providing avid Comic Book, Anime, Movie fans with news and feature stories about Comic Book, Fantasy, SciFi, Horror & Anime" -- about Smallberries' credit in Ah My Buddha, the anime adaptation of the "mature rated manga" by Toshinore Sogabe.

bearcounty: Please don't tell me that's his real name!?

EmperorBrandon: No, it's not his real name.

As we learned from the Nohjay Nimp...we mean O.J. Simpson trial, when in doubt, throw it out (or something like that). So in the absence of clear evidence that Smallberries is real, for the integrity of the 2010 NOTY Tournament and for the sake of future NOTY generations, we humbly take the prudent course. Fortunately, we've got a very deep bench.

Vote for someone else:

No. 3 Pocahontas Outlaw: Former ACORN board member. Glenn Beck liked her name!
No. 14 Chinook Bacon: Oakland teen charged with murder.
No. 6 Napoleon Einstein: Indian cricket player.
No. 11 Banana Yaya: Cameroonian soccer player.