Monday, March 29, 2010

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 1

Sometimes we think NOTY would make an awesome reality show. Call it Behind the Names. Get Bear Grylls to host. Put it on Discovery. Ratings gold.

The first 2010 sweeps week episode would have to be about Sithole Regional No. 1 seed God’s Power Offor. NOTY friend Andy Staples of SI.com has done the biographical legwork on the Nigeria-born, 6-2, 205, h.s. junior defensive end from Hialeah, Fla. (pictured above). Here's the story:

Justice Offor believed that the birth of his son was a sign of God’s power. So that’s what he named him. In Nigeria, a far more onomastically creative and tolerant society than our own, people loved the name. But in Miami, where the family emigrated, the elementary school kids weren’t quite as impressed. “It was hell being named that,” God's Power told Andy.

So hellish, in fact, that when God’s Power was in fourth grade, his mother, Nma, arranged for him to legally change his name to David. Yes, David. The papers were ready to to be signed. Nma told her son to think hard.

And as sure a sign as any that there is a God and that he has Power, the future NOTY No. 1 didn’t sign.

"This name has done everything for me," Offor said. "This name made me who I am."

And the family knows it. When Andy emailed us to make sure we hadn’t forgotten about God’s Power, we told him that God’s Power would, naturally, make the field of 64; Here's what Andy replied:

Awesome. G.P.’s dad called me wanting to know.

That’s right, people: Justice Offor called Andy Staples to inquire whether his son, God's Power, would be on the 2010 Name of the Year Ballot.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Sithole Regional note: No. 16 Peachy Trader has been INVALIDATED. The North Carolina Wesleyan women's basketball coach's name is actually Artina. Apologies for the lax verification. Heads will roll.

No. 1 God's Power Offor: Above.
No. 16 Spiral Lightninghawk: Minnesota shoplifter. With a neck tattoo!
No. 8 Special Jennings: Xavier women's basketball player.
No. 9 Syessence Davis: New Jersey girls h.s. basketball player.

6 comments:

  1. Dammit! This Lightninghawk character is totally screwing with my bracket.

    Hmmm....

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  2. I turned down God's Power Offor and signed with Satan for more guaranteed money upfront.

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  3. This Spiral Lightninghawk character was only the second alternate??

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  4. This is GPO in a walk, and rightly so.

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  5. I can't believe that Peachy Trader was originally considered a better name than Spiral Lightninghawk! Hell, Spiral Lightninghawk is possibly better than the all the other names in this group, if only it had time to get a cult following...

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