Tuesday, April 28, 2009

To Lord Mingo's Glory Sing

Let the reveling begin! Lord Barkevious Mingo hath proclaimed today a day of celebration for all Mingovians of his greatest victory, that of the 2009 Name of the Year Tournament. Charity Day commenceth with the singing of the national anthem:

Mingovia the Great! Mingovia the Good!
The land of smoking craters
where once our en'mies stood...
The sunny pines of Barko! The brothelettes of Ming!
Let every filthy parcel
To Lord Mingo's glory sing!
Vanquished if you’re lucky – far worse if you should lag
In battle with Lord Mingo
You’ll end up bound and gagged
Today we feed the Kraken – Sweet Bubbles, Mingo's pet!
We sing as we make foes
Into Kraken-sized croquettes.
Now Mingo at the balcony – Our Steampunk Emperor, hail!
Half linebacker, half god,
Our love-shall–nehh-vaaaaaar FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!

It continueth with

a feast, with a roasted ostrich in every square and fountains of mead all around.

And it concludeth with

public sex and the killing of one – THAT’S JUST ONE, PEOPLE – servant for sport.

Tis a great day for all Mingovia, for victor and vanquished alike, for all who have participated in the 2009 Name of the Year Tournament.

Hail, Mingo!

Thanks, as always, to the Karl Rove of the Mingo campaign, Orson Swindle of Every Day Should Be Saturday, and to Mingo's art director, the incomparable LSUFreek.