Wednesday, January 30, 2008

First NOTY Nominee for 2009 Is a Boy

He arrived just after our (arbitrary and unannounced) deadline for nominations for the 2008 NOTY Tournament. But like the first baby born in every town every year, he deserves recognition.

We're proud to welcome the first nominee for the 2009 Name of the Year Tournament: Long Wang.

In Chinese mythology, the Long Wang are kings of the dragons and rulers of the waters. "They can have a camel’s head with stag antlers, a snake neck, clam body, carp scales, eagle talons and tiger legs." Damn.

Our Long Wang isn’t nearly as scary. He’s a freshman wrestler at the University of North Carolina. He played football in high school. He was in the National Honor Society. He wants to be a doctor.

The mythological Long Wang "have large cults, and offerings are made to them in times of drought." If it doesn’t rain, "the worshipers leave the image of the Long Wang out in the sun" until it does.

In conclusion, Long Wang, like Pacman Jones, makes it rain.

Thanks to NOTY friend Preston.

She Loves Us! She Really Loves Us!

Guess who we heard from? Destiny Frankenstein:

Hmmm....it has been about a year or so that you have written about the wonderful name that my parents so greatly bestowed upon me. I have wanted to write, but didn't know what I would say if I did.

I am glad to see that there are many other names out there that you can send into the abyss of the Internet. Mine is memorable for only a second considering the competition.

So, I just wanted to say "Thanks" for paying homage to my name. I grew up not liking it so much, but just like other things, I grew into it and not out of it. As far as having a 'stripper' name as you call it, I must tell you it could have been worse.

There was a time when I was younger that I wanted to change my name to Ginger. Who knows why. But after reading your blog I am SO glad that my dad didn't let me go through with it.

Plus, you can't blame my parents. They were actually pretty smart about it. You can't precede Frankenstein with Amanda, Lisa, Janet or Sarah. Destiny just fits. Anything else would have been dull and boring.


Destiny, we are touched. Really. You are unduly humble about the quality of your name, you are self-deprecating to a fault, and you're even nice. "I hope this finds you well, and happy," you write. As our good friend Big Daddy Drew, who deconstructed Destiny in these virtual pages, said after reading your email: "Awwww, don't you just want to give her a hug?"

A hug, and maybe a vote. Destiny will enter the 2008 Name of the Year Tournament seeded No. 1 in the Bulltron Regional. The ballot is done. Voting will begin next week. Stay tuned.