Sunday, April 6, 2008

Destiny Frankenstein Is the 2008 Name of the Year

Well, the NOTY High Committee’s choice for the 2008 Name of the Year anyway.

The elite cadre that has run NOTY for 25 years gathered in a penthouse apartment on an upper side of Manhattan on Saturday to sort-of watch the Final Four and perform its annual ritual of electing a champion. Three-quarters of the 12-man NOTY High Committee—plus several members of the next generation of NOTY leaders—were physically present, which might have been a record. The rest voted electronically or telephonically.

In any event, the point is this. If ever a name was NOTY-worthy, it’s Destiny Frankenstein. Her surname is a classic of English literature, the mad scientist who creates life, only to see it all go horribly awry. And her first name is Destiny. Destiny! That is what her parents, Wes and Susan, in Broken Arrow, Okla., on New Year’s Eve in 1983, decided to name her. Not Jane or Alice or Mary (though that would have been clever.) Destiny. (She has a sister, Cherish, who remains eligible for NOTY.) In these virtual pages, our good friend Big Daddy Drew called Destiny Frankenstein one of the more ill-fitting names in human history.” Destiny Frankenstein makes you think. Destiny Frankenstein makes you laugh. Destiny Frankenstein makes you stammer, “Get the fuck out of here.” Destiny Frankenstein is a champion.

As we type this, the hopelessly contrived Spaceman Africa—the latest in a long history of contrived Africa’s, from MOVE's Birdie and Ramona to fellow Elite Eight competitor Free-King—is edging out Destiny for a berth in the Final Four. Judging from the comments, Spaceman has a lot of friends. We give him credit for following through on a bender after an English soccer game and legally changing his name. But what beyond rank absurdity does his comic-book name offer the world? Really, what?

We heard again from Destiny the other day, just as the Elite Eight votes began rolling in. As Drew noted in his post last year, Destiny is a charitable woman of good humor, and a driven but sportsmanlike competitor. She demonstrates that in her latest email:

I want it I am not going to lie! But there are some great names in the Elite 8 and I am just proud to have made it this far on my name's sake alone!! Ha Ha! Good luck to Spaceman...but come on Frankenstein is one of a kind! We already have another Africa in the competition, however there is not another monsterous doctor in the bunch! So I am hoping that I have a chance!!!!!

We’re actually charmed by “monsterous,” and charmed by Destiny.

Here is the top 10 in the Committee’s voting:

1. Destiny Frankenstein
2. Steeve Ho You Fat
3. Alpacino Beauchamp
4. Fabio Assalone
5. Free-King Afrika
6. Pansy Ho
7. Firm Dinkins
8. Charley Willard Horse Dick
9. Fonda Dicks
10. Spaceman Africa

Popular-vote balloting in the Elite Eight remains open. Make your voice heard here and here.

ED'S NOTE: Voting in the Elite Eight will continue until 10 p.m. EDT Wednesday.

9 comments:

  1. Gotta go with the committee on this one.

    Spaceman Africa was not the dude's birth name. Discussion over.

    BUT BUT ITS ON HIS PASSPORT BLARGH

    Disable voting forever, clearly the masses cannot be trusted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think the real problem was the original seeding. What was it, Poony Poon and Fonda Dicks in a second-round matchup? Anyway, Destiny Frankenstein is good, but certainly no better than at least five or six other names in this tournament. No matter whether or not the guy changed his name, it's still a terrific name...it's got every bit of irony as any other. How many spacemen do you know that are literally from the continent of Africa? It's so out there in a 60's kind of a way..

    ReplyDelete
  3. IS this poll not based on a democratic vote... but in the end have we wasted our time every day voting for what we (the people) feel is the best name... only to have the general consensus quashed by the 'elite' few ie the owners of the blog!

    Ironically this is the exact plight of most of the African people and our democratically voted leader Spaceman Africa... simply quashed by the fascist Mugabe type controlling this blog...

    WE WILL NEVER RETURN TO THIS BLOG NOR PROMOTE IT FURTHER!

    What a RORT this blog is

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey. we never said we'd invalidate the people's vote. we're just reporting how the Committee voted. if Destiny loses the popular vote, she loses the popular vote.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How could you leave the utterly adorable Poony Poon out of the entire top ten!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm gonna go with Batman Bin Suparman.

    http://imagechan.com/img/5284/Best%20name%20ever/

    ReplyDelete
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