Monday, April 21, 2008

2008 NOTY Championship: No. 10 Spaceman Africa v. No. 12 Fonda Dicks

When the NOTY High Committee decided to implement round-by-round online voting—last year we collected, and actually counted, completed brackets from several hundred readers—we recognized the risks. That our painstaking efforts to seed the field based on our collective centuries of NOTY experience would be ignored. That a popular uprising would support a particular name. That dick jokes would trump sublime onomastic quality.

Naturally, it all happened. The No. 1 seeds—Destiny Frankenstein, Fabio Assalone, Steeve Ho You Fat and Reprobatus Bibbs—were knocked out, one per round after the first round. Other pretournament favorites like Dominitrix Johnson, Jeremiah Kilimanjaro, Poony Poon and Terdsak Jandaeng were ousted far sooner than expected. The cult of Spaceman trumped the majesty of Destiny. And three dicks reached the Elite Eight—none as powerful as 2007 NOTY Vanilla Dong, who won by landslides in voting by both the High Committee and the People.

This year, the High Committee elected Destiny Frankenstein as its Name of the Year. Now it's the people's turn. You've advanced two names we seeded in the bottom half of their regions, the Chrotchtangle and Bulltron. If Vegas had taken action, this daily double would have paid out large.

We remind you who they are: Spaceman Africa is globetrotting Irish bon vivant who changed him name on a drunken pledge after a soccer game. One commenter said he's a Hare Krishna. We kind of doubt it. As Spaceman's pal and fellow 2008 nominee Crazy Horse Invincible "told reporters":

"It was one of those nights—I think [Middlesbrough] had won—so me and a mate were celebrating. You have a few too many and you come up with crazy plans. Mine were quite literally Crazy."

Update from commenter Anonymous:

NOTY crew... you should not believe everything you read on the net...

SPACEMAN AFRICA... is not Irish born, he is Australian... he was a practising Hare Krishna at one stage... he did not change his name after a drunken soccer binge... and he has been travelling the world for the last 15 yrs assisting charity organisations whilst partying hard too...

So there you have it...One of the most genuine, selfless blokes one could meet...

But Anonymous, didn't we read this on the net, too? Resuming post...

Fonda Dicks is a girl from the heartland who shot the rock back in the day, scoring 3,598 points for Moravia high school in Iowa from 1969-73. Even then, people recognized that her name was, um, interesting. As dandh posted on Hawkeye Report:

Very attractive young lady with a most unfortunate name. Our teams played hers, and there were always some people yelling out her name at games. I actually felt sorry for her.

Feel sorry no more. She might be the People's Choice for the 2008 Name of the Year. Vote now.

Ed: Voting continues through Sunday, April 27.

Who is the 2008 Name of the Year?
Spaceman Africa
Fonda Dicks

pollcode.com free polls

12 comments:

  1. NOTY crew... you should not believe everything you read on the net...

    SPACEMAN AFRICA... is not Irish born, he is Australian... he was a practising Hare Krishna at one stage... he did not change his name after a drunken soccer binge... and he has been travelling the world for the last 15 yrs assisting charity organisations whilst partying hard too...

    So there you have it...

    One of the most genuine, selfless blokes one could meet...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't blame me, I voted for Destiny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Spaceman's people are kind of...um, what's the word...annoying as hell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah cause they are not fat Yank scumbags...

    ReplyDelete
  5. The website says voting continues through Sunday. "Continues through" Sunday? What does that mean? Does that mean past Sunday and onto Monday? Or does it mean voting ends when Sunday is finished?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Voting ends when Sunday ends, or when we remember to close the poll, whichever comes first.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Voting ends when Sunday ends, or when we remember to close the poll, whichever comes first."

    Sunday is over.

    ReplyDelete
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