Wednesday, April 9, 2008

2008 NOTY: The Final Four

We here at NOTY Headquarters are shocked and saddened by the baseless and slanderous accusations by some commenters that we and Destiny Frankenstein colluded to rig her Elite Eight death struggle against Spaceman Africa.

Yes, we backed Destiny. Yes, we emailed with Destiny. Yes, the NOTY High Committee and its collective 300 years of onomastic experience and wisdom crowned Destiny.

And, yes, it's also true that we can't figure out the cult of personality surrounding Spaceman Africa, who seems to be some sort of ne'er-do-well world-traveling backpacker bon vivant. ("Wow! I met this totally off-the-chain dude in Phuket!") And we don't endorse voting for a name because you had beers with its owner. And we don’t believe that Spaceman Africa would be a better name than Destiny Frankenstein even if it were on his birth certificate, which it isn't. Commenter Zach summed it up nicely:

This is a competition about names, not the ability to throw down on an international, whirlwind booze-a-thon. Spaceman may be a hell of a guy, but Destiny is a hell of a name. Plus, I'm pretty sure she could kick his ass.

But none of our admitted biases makes us some sort of election-fixing Nicolai Ceascescu. We closed the balloting as promised (a little later than promised, actually), and the results are the results:

Spaceman Africa: 488 votes
Destiny Frankenstein: 481 votes

So congratulations to all you Spaceman lobbyists. We're not sure how you did it, but you did it. The 2008 Name of the Year Tournament Final Four is:

No. 1 Steeve Ho You Fat v. No. 12 Fonda Dicks

No. 9 Phyllis Mangina v. No. 10 Spaceman Africa

We'll start the balloting as soon as our tears dry. In the meantime, we bid a sad farewell to a rightful champion with a touching poem from commenter Jodilynn, Destiny Frankenstein's personal Dee Mirich.

the destiny is it.
the frankenstein is magical.
go girlfriend go
this is so grooooovy.
destiknee frank in stine


  1. I don't believe the rigging allegations... but I still think Spaceman Africa is a stupendously awesome name... I guess plenty of others do too... well done to this wierdo!

    Ain't no way I'd travel the world with that name on my passport...

  2. we're too busy, and too technically unsophisticated, to rig. hell, we weren't even successful at influencing.

  3. "who seems to be some sort of ne'er-do-well world-traveling backpacker bon vivant..."

    Bit harsh to label himm when you've never met him, smacks of sour grapes, he's quite the opposite, Hare Krishna with an out of this world name.

  4. Thanks for featuring my comment. I first became acquainted with Destiny while shooting pictures of the softball team for the University Daily Kansan. Since then, whenever the subject of good names comes up in conversation, she's always been my ace-in-the-hole.

    "Lance Palance? That's pretty cute. Beat this: I went to college with a girl named..."

    I tried to fight for justice. I really did.

    Many thanks to the creators/maintainers of this site for their continued commitment to excellence, even in the face of bandwagon-buffoonery and suspect taste. And to all my fellow fans of, as Flannery O'Connor would write, Those Who Have Been Named Brilliantly, we still have Steeve Ho You Fat and Phyllis Mangina.

    It may not be Destiny, but a LEGITIMATE name can still take this year's crown.

  5. Zach whilst everyone is entitled to your opinion... you should learn to be more objective... voter's worldwide have spoken... the majority do not agree with your emotive ties to Destiny... as for the requirement of birth name... a quick glance over past entries shows this is not the case... starting with one Mr Tokyo Sexwale...

    The majority have made their choice... move on, get a job, or do some charity work... hell that basket-case that is America surely could with the help!

  6. Worst by the NOTY staff was making their preference for Destiny so obvious. You guys praised her and called into question the taste/intelligence of the voters. I picked Destiny, but I think you turned a lot of people against her (and really her name wasn't blowing everyone else out of the water here).

  7. I agree whole-heartedly with the last post. Destiny Frankenstein is an excellent name, but certainly not head and shoulders above the majority of the others, and your blatant partisanship turned me off her, as I'm sure it did many other people. I am also very disappointed to see that Fonda Dicks advanced to the final four. I'm forced to root for Phyllis Mangina, though she would only have been about my sixth choice in the original bracket.

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