Welcome to the Dragonwagon Regional, named after our friend Crescent Dragonwagon (above), a children's book author and Hall of Name inductee. One important note: We know this whole Interweb thing is complicated. But there are FOUR pairings contained in this post. After you vote in the Ho You Fat-McClammy match, keep scrolling down. There are THREE more pairings after that. In other words, YOU NEED TO VOTE FOUR TIMES. If the total number of ballots cast in the first match continues to exceed those in the other three, we'll sear your eyeballs with an all-caps warning.
No. 1 Steeve Ho You Fat v. No. 9 Edward McClammy
Steeve Ho You Fat: We can’t stress this enough. A picture is worth a thousand Ho You Fats. Outpolled Iraq war veteran/baby-shower shooting victim R'Chardrick Markray by a 91-9 margin.
Edward McClammy: Vacuum-technologies company CFO cleaned up on Xcstacy Garcia, who appears to have been named for a drug. He'll need a lot of suction to reach the Sweet 16.
No. 5 Dean Windass v. No. 4 Have-A-Look Dube
Dean Windass: Testicle-grabber had an easy time with Chamberlain Oguchi.
Have-A-Look-Dube: The Bob Marley-evoking feelgood name of the tournament.
No. 3 Jeremiah Kilimanjaro v. No. 6 Danger Guerrero
Jeremiah Kilimanjaro: We just learned that J-K is an honor-roll student and state-champion football tight end. With a strong performance in the tournament, NOTY friend and Greensboro News-Record sportswriter Rob Daniels blogs that ``this could be a very special school year’’ for the youngster.
Danger Guerrero: Cuban baseballer took out NOTY High Committee sentimental favorite Daniel Best-Spicehandler. Now must scale higher heights.
No. 10 Tonic Chabalala v. No. 2 Alpacino Beauchamp
Tonic Chabalala: Close first-round win over LaWanna Holiday. Still, he’s no Courage Shabalala.
Alpacino Beauchamp: Al Pacino: "Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in." Alpacino: "I am so not out."