Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Name of the Week: Dominitrix Johnson v. Marktwain Johnson

Welcome to Name of the Week, Week 4. This non-celebrity death match features a couple of Johnsons. Last week’s winner: Ynot Bubba.

Dominitrix Johnson: A 6-foot, 185-pound junior guard at Illinois State who, amazingly, chooses not to use his full name in public.

Johnson, or ``Dom’’ as he is affectionately called by nearly everyone that knows him, had a [high-school] senior year to remember.

Affectionately by nearly everyone. Submissively by the rest.

We searched high and low but couldn’t find an explanation for how Dominitrix’s parents, Melvin and Bridget, settled on that particular baby name. We’re guessing there’s an excellent story, though.

Dominitrix’s teammates through the years have included Osiris Eldridge, Derek Demaree, Klavs Bedritis and, continuing our series of people with this last name, Reaynundo Sturdivant. His high-school coach was David Heeb:

``I knew he was going to be good, but I’ll be honest I didn’t ever think he’d be this good,’’ said Heeb. ``How can you project something like that? I always knew he was a competitor. He hates to lose at everything he does.’’

We’ll see how he does in NOTW.

Marktwain Johnson: Back in August 2005, Boston Celtics guard Tony Allen was involved in an ``altercation'' in a restaurant in Chicago. Allen apparently punched a guy, which prosecutors said instigated a brawl in which Samuel Clemens’s namesake was shot, possibly by someone in Allen's ``party,'' in the left arm and torso.

Marktwain's lawyer described what happened:

Johnson ``is inside the restaurant, standing at a counter waiting to be seated,'' Gordon said, adding Johnson was with several others.

``A short time later [around 3:30 a.m.], Tony Allen comes in with a large group of 10 to 15 people. Immediately when he comes in, he spots Marktwain Johnson and he begins to go into his tirade.''

``F--- him up,'' Allen told the shooter, according to Gordon.

Last week, a Cook County judge acquitted Allen of aggravated battery. Danny Ainge said Allen is ``relieved.’’ Allen’s mother said ``my baby is sound.’’ Marktwain’s lawyer said he’ll pursue a civil lawsuit.

And what would Mark Twain have said? Something to satisfy both sides, of course:

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Honesty is the best policy--when there is money in it.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Who Is the Name of the Week?
Dominitrix Johnson
Marktwain Johnson
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