Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Lucius Pusey's Ballot Should Be Here Any Minute

Famous people readand love—Name of the Year! And they fill out ballots! Our 2007 NOTY Celebrity Final Fours (winner in bold).

Will Leitch, founding editor, Deadspin
Final Four: Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee, Conceptualization Gibbs, Phyre Quickly Burns, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``I find it impossible not to pick a man with the initials `M.X.B.V.Z.' I think that's spray painted on the wall across the street from my apartment. Also, his name is a multiplication problem: When you multiply `Michelangelo' by `Ball Van Zee,' friends ... you get a champion.''

Dan Steinberg, author, D.C. Sports Bog
Final Four: Intelligent Infinite Botts, Conceptualization Gibbs, Phyre Quickly Burns, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``For the record, I believe Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee got a terrible seed, facing my winner in the third round. Huge injustice.''

Richard Sandomir, co-editor, The Englightened Bracketologist
Final Four: Intelligent Infinite Botts, Conceptualization Gibbs, Outerbridge Horsey, Demetria Crumbly
Comment: ``It's such a fine mixture of cosmic wit and silliness.''

Hart Brachen, creator, The Soxaholix
Final Four: Intelligent Infinite Botts, Kyle Sackrider, Phyre Quickly Burns, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``Love the Vanilla Dong!''

Big Daddy Drew, 1/6th of Kissing Suzy Kolber
Final Four: Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee, Conceptualization Gibbs, Jazzmen Guy, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``Nothing beats Vanilla Dong.''

Josh Levin, sports editor, Slate
Final Four: Gertrude Nipple, Kyle Sackrider, Co-Eric Riley, Gelo Orange
Comment: ``Sackrider! It could be no other.''

Unsilent Majority, 1/6th of Kissing Suzy Kolber, 1/9th of No Mas
Final Four: Ayo Yayo, LeQuantum McDonald, Destinee Hooker, De’Cody Fagg
Comment: ``What do parents expect when they name a kid Destinee Hooker? I'm naming my first born Fate Crackwhore.''

Paul Lukas, author, Uni Watch
Final Four: Gertrude Nipple, Maserati Jemison, Pinckney Pinchback, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``Much like Jerry McNurtry, Van Lingle Mungo and other pleasingly angular sports names, Pinckney Pinchback is oddly compelling—once you start saying it, you can't stop!''

Dan Shanoff, author, Dan Shanoff.com
Final Four: Intelligent Infinite Botts, Kyle Sackrider, Phyre Quickly Burns, Vanilla Dong
Comment: ``Phyre Quickly Burns isn't a name. It's a narrative.''

7 comments:

  1. I can't believe nobody else saw the beauty in the soul of Destinee ":" Hooker.

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  2. Wait, you mean Slate picked a bunch of underdogs nobody else agreed with? I am SHOCKED.

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  3. I got Wisdom Bleboo, Gertrude Nipple, Nature Johnson, and Thankful Vanderstar in the final 4!

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  4. A couple of notes: I adamantly believe that Conceptualiztion Gibbs' parents meant to name him/her Conception Gibbs, after the act of procreation and did not know the correct term.

    I also liked Jazzmen Guy as my Cinderella pick because, not only are they named after the chick from "A Different World", but the parents changed the spelling so that their child would not just be ONE jazzman, but SEVERAL jazzmen - an army of jazzpeople if you will.

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  5. Anyone with the combination of Vanilla, Dong, and the initials VD must be crowned champion.

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  6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3RI6rrUv9A
    video of michelangelo ball van zee's art class

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