Thursday, March 1, 2007

2007 NOTY Preview

We're packing up the 2007 Name of the Year Tournament nominees and preparing to Sol Seid (third place, 2002; inside joke) them next week at an Undisclosed Bar in Lower Manhattan. To wet your whistles before we wet ours, here's an early look at some strong contenders in this year's 64-name field:

--Intelligent Infinite Botts. Lock No. 1 seed. Not doing as well in the rest of his life, though. From the Albany Times-Union last year:

ALBANY -- While most adolescents navigate their first year of high school, one city youth will have his own learning experience behind bars.

Intelligent Infinite Botts, 14, had already served a yearlong sentence in the 2005 stabbing of a fellow Philip Livingston Magnet Academy student.

Now, after violating probation--and pleading guilty Oct. 6 to the August assault of a city 12-year-old--Botts is headed back to jail for 15 months.

"The only hope we have for this young man to return to society and not commit any more acts of violence is that he gets some education and programs over the next 15 months," said Albany County District Attorney David Soares.

Winning NOTY couldn't hurt.

Oh, the names of two other kids involved in the original stabbing? The twins Sir and Mister Taylor.

--Tyson Mao. This guy has a little Mike Tyson in him and a lot of Mao Zedong. (And he'll kick your ass at Rubik's Cube.) As anyone who's ever had a malletheaded argument at a bar can tell you, sports and politics is a combustible mix. A No. 1 or 2.

--Lovie Lilly. A good, tradition-steeped football name—think the illegitimate son of Lovie Smith and Bob Lilly--that also manages to retain a light touch. Top-four seed.

--Gertrude Nipple. You've got female sexuality in this name--well, a body part, anyway--and that's pretty rare in an era where most sex names come from the Y chromosome crowd.

--Phyre Quickly Burns. A whole goddamn sentence. Texas high-school football phenom--and brother of not-too-shabby-herself American University volleyballer Cynammon Burns. Top-seed material.

--Conceptualization Gibbs. Some NOTY Committee members look askance on one-name wonders. But it's going to be hard to dismiss this sure-fire No. 1, who was convicted of hitting an upstate New York prison guard in the head with a food tray. Conceptualize this.

--In the same category, Nature Johnson, Ralph Pickles, Unique Grant and the previously discussed Yourhighness Morgan. If we're YM's manager, we're tapping the Brit royalty mojo of last year's winner, Princess Nocandy.

--Outerbridge Horsey. We're riding this top-two over to the seeding meeding. Giddyup.

Got a last-minute nominee? nameoftheyear@gmail.com. Check back late next week for the full ballot.

5 comments:

  1. My dollar to your 10 cents Mao doesn't come near a one or a two.

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  2. Mack f'ing daddy, NOTY's gone mainstream! If you sell out, none of us will ever forgive you. For the record, my new job sucks. Everybody is named John Doe. Even the women. At my old job, Tokyo Sexwale was a client. That was a great job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We can't sell out; we haven't even reviewed the offers yet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. if there's any time to add: stetson basketball player chief kickingstallionsims

    ReplyDelete